Summer of Emotions

Wow ~ this past 2 months have flown by and I'm still standing here with dust in my eyes!  I don't particularly like this state of affairs, but what can I really do about it?  Nothing except try to regroup, get organized as my life's about to change in a big way, and catch up on my neglected blog.  It's only 9 days until I send my baby off to the big world of Kindergarten (GULP) and in thinking about this I of course go all teary-eyed.  This summer has been emotional to say the least.  A lovely, yet too short visit with Bennett's bio sis and her new sis, Niaka, from Haiti.  A 10 day life changing, still hard to talk about, trip to Guatemala where I spent time with some of God's most precious children and unexpectedly got to travel with another missionary to see the village where my son was born.  W-O-W .. that's a post I can't yet bring myself to write but hope to soon!  For now I am just trying to dry my tears and listen for what opportunities God is handing me now that I'll have some free time on my hands.  Of course I know that "free" time will fill up quickly with soccer, and quizzing, and school events, and homework, and on and on and on however I am trying to "declutter" our life calendar so that we can focus on what's really important; serving with J.O.Y. ... Jesus, others, yourself. 
Without going into a lot of my trip I wanted to post pics of our latest visit with sis.  Yes she has a name, Alondra, but we all just call her "sis" around here.  Of course each visit is wonderful, exciting, and special!  I try to take as many pictures as humanly possible until the kiddos start hollering at me to stop.  I don't know how long these visits will last, as we will leave it up to them when they are older, but I know as long as I have any say they'll always be a part of each other's lives.  But we never know what tomorrow holds so I try to capture as much as I can.  As special as the pictures were before, they became even more special to me after coming home from Guatemala.  Driving through Bennett's village, a deep reality (one that I thought I already knew) hit me .. it is a true gift that God has given our family in knowing his sister and being able to spend time with her.  Yes he is my son but he does have a past, a story, a birth family, a line and these are things I never want to keep quiet or keep from him.  He has a sister and he loves her with all of his heart, and she him.  I realize even more how important it is that I keep him part of that story .. you wouldn't start a book at chapter 2.  You would miss too much and the rest of the story wouldn't make as much sense.  She is part of his chapter 1; a chapter that is riveting, full of love and laughter, a bit confusing and tearful at times, but worth every word, every line, every minute!  I love her as much as I do him .. She is my son's sister, how can I not love her completely? It's impossible.  For some that might sound confusing or "unfair" to Bennett but I believe that us loving her as we do him is comforting to Bennett.  It shows him that we love every part of him.  Someone asked me after telling them of my adventure to see Bennett's village, "Why would you want to see that?"  Why wouldn't I?  It's another connection I have towards him and his birth family.  My question is "Who wouldn't want to see where their child first entered the world?"  God gave me a once in a lifetime opportunity and as scared as I was it was important for me to go.  I still have a hard time talking about it face to face with people but it has also helped "ready" me for the days to come.  Knowing that God would have protected him there and He will protect him here just the same. 
Until our next visit with sis, I pray protection over my children.  I pray God gives them opportunities to SHINE (Share His Incredible News Everywhere), to love, to serve, and to connect even deeper with each other.  I pray that Bennett grows closer with Niaka ... which is a relationship he is still a bit confused about and rightly so; "Sis is my sister and Niaka is her sister but Niaka isn't my sister?  Huh?"  Exactly! 
Lord, help us explain that one when the time is right but for now just let them be kids and love one another without boundaries of color, or whose parents are whose, or where so-and-so was born, or distance between them.  Just let them keep smiling - because that makes my heart smile!

Honestly, these 2 faces just make my heart dance!

Just a regular brother and sister pickin' on each other.  Though usually it's sis, he's just goes along for the ride, happy as a lark!

The 3 most beautiful kids I know - I'm so lucky to have one call me "momma" and the others be in my life! 

Bennett Carlos, Niaka, & Alondra

HELP!

Ok, well it's been over a month since my last post.  I have been wanting to upload pics from my ministry trip to Guatemala and share how God has changed my heart ever since I returned.  Of course life has gotten in the way and now that I have sat down to start blogging away, I have some error message floating around on my blog and my beautiful side border is gone!!!  WHY???  Can anyone out there help me???  Honestly, this is going to eat at me if I don't get it fixed.  Please leave comments if you are a blogger out there who knows how to fix this. 

Until then ~ take care!

My Heart's Dream

Today this post will  be short, simple, and photoless.  I am leaving in a few hours for a 9 day missions trip to my son's birthcountry of Guatemala.  Since bringing him home 5 years ago it has been my heart's dream to go back and minister to and love the children who feel unloved, unwanted, and unimportant.  They are not!  I love them, many others do as well, and most importantly God loves them! 
John 4:34 says that Jesus said to them, "My food is to do the will of Him who sent Me, and to finish His work." 
I pray that God uses me to be His hands and feet and to share and show His amazing love to these beautiful, special, priceless children!!!  I can't wait to share God's great news when I return! 

God is So Good!

Today is special!  You may not know it or understand why but I do.  I feel it more and more with each passing day, each passing year.  5 years ago today, my husband and I stood in a hotel in Guatemala City, Guatemala waiting for the first "in person" gaze at our son.  The first touch of his skin on ours.  The first kiss to plant on his lips.  I still shake with emotion just thinking about it.  This is us with the his foster mother Paulina.  What a blessing she is!  God's angel to look after him until we could bring him home.  I love her. 

So much has changed since this picture.  So many sleepless nights, so many milestones, so many celebrations.  Now that he is 5 we have also experienced the "trying" 3's, 4's, and "full of attitude" 5's!  In the past 6 months or so we have experienced some difficult talks, some which we were not as prepared for as we thought.  Adoption is special .. I fully believe that!  The brutal truth is though that it can be hard and confusing for children and believe me, they "feel" more than we think they do or expect them to at this young age.  Those feelings I cannot "fix", nor do I believe I should want to.  They are his hearts emotions and although they tear me in two sometimes, he is entitled to them.  This is him now.

He has the most beautiful smile!  (Keep your daughters away!)

He is a total riot!  He says so many off-the-wall, funny things that I could probably write a book!

 

He is a complete ham!

I'm pretty sure most days we are raising a super hero.  He truly thinks he is THE Red Power Ranger!

He is the most amazing gift God could have ever planned for our family!

So often we want to "plan" our lives.  If this had happened in our case, we may not have been privileged to become Bennett's parents.  Each time I stop and truly think about God's plan for this child and bringing him into this world to be our son, I well up with tears.  No plan that we could have thought up or prepared for would have been as great as God's!  He is so good!  Today we celebrate God's love for our family, for His son that we have the honor of raising and loving, for Bennett's birth family and their unbelievable sacrifice and immeasurable love, for his foster family for their love and nurturing of Bennett, and for our son himself. 

Bennett Carlos Chacon Farmer, this is from your mommy.  I am more than humbled by being in your life.  There are no words to describe the amount of love I feel for you.  God so loved the world that He gave his only son ... and He so loved your dad and I that He gave us you!  For both, we are forever thankful.  You brighten my days even when you are being mischievous!  Your smile lights up a room!  Right now you don't fully understand the amount of people who truly love you but I hope to one day be able to help you feel that love.  You are a child of God.  You are part of His kingdom.  Lean on Him, live for Him, love Him.  He will forever love you, as will I! 

About to Bust!

Well, here she is.  My beautiful clematis.  When she blooms she'll be popping with color ... a deep midnight purple and a soft lavender.  Unfortunately she'll be blooming only on one side because she's gotten HUGE and the husband hasn't created a way to "lift" her up.  I keep stressing to him how important it is for a lady to be "lifted" ... if you know what I mean?!  Long story short ... he doesn't get it.  Anyways, I will post pictures once she's full of pretty little petals.  Until then, I pray she doesn't rip the old iron gate from the wall because she's about to bust!

On the homefront I have LOTS to post in the coming days!  We've had many "life" updates, wonderful outings to smile and share about, and some new uncertainties that have crossed our path.  Through it all, God continues to bless us, guide us, and give us a full and complete peace about where we are right now, today.  It feels good! 

A Happy Camper!

Well today I was one happy lil' camper!  Bennett and I hopped in the car with Gammaw Carlos and headed over to Tipp City, in a severe thunderstorm with hail I might add, to check out a new "vintage - antique" store called A Royal Nest.  I picked up a couple of great things for super, unbelievable, cheap prices!!!!  It's great to find something you instantly fall in love with and it's icing on the cake when you don't have to sell an appendage to take those pretties home.  After stopping at A Royal Nest we started driving home and spotted another antique goody shop in what used to be Second Street Deli.  And oh boy!!!  In the past 2 days for less than $100 I have scored the following:  a gorgeous gray-blue dove tail box from Smith's Antiques, a sweet as can be little white bird, a vintage clock, a glass vase that I planted Baby's Tears in, a chippy old white cornace that I'm going to use for a shelf, and an old white painted basket that as of right now doesn't have a purpose, but don't worry, I'll put 'er to work.  On top of all of this, Cory is taking that ugly duckling chair into Vintage Scout Interiors tomorrow.  I went down a couple of days ago, walked in and saw this distressed wood table painted a gray-blue and said "That's what color I'm talking about!"  Then Jean took me upstairs to the hundreds, literally, of upholstery books she had, opened the first book and BAM ... there is was!  A smoky blue, bold, big floral print that screams modern country to me.  So hopefully I can contain myself and not miss her to much while she's gone getting her makeover. 
As for what the weekend will hold, I am looking forward to having the hubby home for 3 days!  We are also super excited that Saturday we get to spend the entire day with Bennett's biological sister, her adoptive mom, and her newly adopted sister from Haiti!!!  This is Bennett's first time meeting his sister's sister, complicated I know, but he is sooooo happy about getting to love on the both of them.  He quite enjoys being the over protective, younger but bigger, brother.  As for us parents, we are just so thankful that God has allowed us to live only 3 hours apart so that the kids bond can flourish and deepen.  We wish we could be together all of the time however we will enjoy every minute of each visit.

I absolutely love this vignette under our kitchen cabinets!  I could stare at it all day!  And let me add that I have never loved a wooden box like I do this one.  She's simply beautiful.  

I've been looking for a clock like this forever.  Good things come to those who wait ... scored this for $7!

Oh how I love Baby Tears!

The gorgeous Thomas Paul fabric for my ugly ducking chair.  The picture doesn't do the smokey blue color justice. 

The white basket for which I have no use for as of yet and the old, white, chippy cornace that I'm going to use as a shelf in my kitchen.  I heart them as well!

Transformation

So as I usually do this time of year, I had my annual Old Fashion Days Garage Sale. And boy am I tired!!!! However after raking in over $800 for myself, my momma, and my mil I got a quick break and headed over to Pyles Flower and Plant Sale sponsored each year by a high school friend, Candy Pyles. Among the tons of well, flowers and plants, she also has unique planters, old doors, salvaged windows, and vintage furniture. I picked up this ugly duckling for $8.00! I am sending her off to Vintage Scout Interiors in Centerville where they are going to paint her and give her a new upholstery job. Can't wait to see what ideas they come up with. I am thinking a gray-blue for the wood and some vintage, mod, modern country fabric for the seat. I'll post pics once this ugly duckling transforms into a beautiful swan.